Yugga

or as it's known to people who like it - Yoga.

just who invented this stoopid shit anyway?

it was a complete waste of a good hours workout time.

the most stupid shit I've ever done at the gym was done on Friday.

Friday's workout class was yoga. The room was hot, and not cause it was hot yoga, but because the room they put us in which was next to the pool was humid and hot.
my two favourite things at the same time, heat and humidity.

you know what else I hate? soft voices. I imagine it's meant to be seductive and encouraging.
sounds more like an idiotic passivist trying to convince children to see things her way.
to say it grates on my nerves is putting it mildly.

I could not for the fucking life of me manage to get from the downward doggie to the sprinter position.
well that's what I called it.
my knee would not go that far forward. might have something to do with the belly that was in the way.

I got bored rather quickly. when she said the pointer guy pose was called the warrior pose I lost it.
I hummed the theme to Superman. entire class started laughing.
then I felt bad.
she is trying to teach a class and my antics are not helpful.
however, at the following pose of the warrior, the guy next to me started to sing the theme to Surfin USA.
well not the actual name of the song but fuck it you get the idea.
I did feel bad.

and you get a ten minute nap at the end of it. you can lie down on that matt you just sweated all over.
that matt that countless yugga buddies before you sweated on.
I did try it. I got about a minute into it and then I sat up and stretched.
yoga lady didn't say a word.

after class she wanted to know what I thought of it.
since I disrupted her class already I thought I should be a little nicer. nobody likes a bitch for no reason.
I simply told her that "I don't think yoga is my thing"
wanted to tell her what a serious waste of my time this was and that if I had spent the last 30 minutes in an air conditioned weight room doing something for my fitness that really mattered I would be in a happier place right now.