I can see your underwear

Wednesdays class was so much better. There was a whole lot of running and push up shit and plank stuff, the kind of class I can get into. It was more my pace too, and because I didn't spend the entire time trying to keep up with someone else it worked out better. I had stuff to do in the weight room after class and so come Thu morn I couldn't move.
I mean I knew I couldn't move before I was even awake. My neck was in a crick, the pillows had shifted and I was in too much pain to get myself out of it. Felt like road kill that wasn't quite dead yet.
Eventually I managed to get out of bed.
I walked like a penguin for two days and its only today that i can move normal again.
Thu was a great cardio day, I got a lot of the kinks out and then she cancelled Fri's class. I'd like to have her job. So Fri turned into another cardio day.

There's been a lot of new faces at the gym lately, some big muscle head I've never seen before and a lot of new Barbie's.
You don't usually see couples at the gym but one just started. She wears  an underwear camisole with jogging pants. I cant figure out if she's waiting to see if this gym thing sticks before she invests in gym clothes or if she's stupid and really doesn't know the diff.

monday's class

today's workout class was thrown together last minute. and my bitchy ass mind didn't make that up, our super fitness leader said it was.
after 15 minutes of sweating she paused in the middle of the gym floor trying to decide what to do next.
while she's thinking, so am I.
I'd seen a kettle bell class last week and because I'm a magnet for stupidity, wanted to try it.
so I voted for kettle bell stuff.
no.
ok that's an answer.
super fitness leader says teaching that stuff is someone elses job.
you all have specific jobs. good to know. but I wanna try the fucking kettle bell lady.
maybe next week.
ok that's also an answer.
we shall wait until next week then.

class is 60 minutes long but between the set up and the stretch with a dash of disorganization in the middle, we get about 20 minutes of sweat time.
today was an excellent example of wasted gym time. oh well.

tomorrow is cardio day and because there's no class, and because I'm in charge of myself, I'm assured of at least 60 straight minutes of sweating.

Yugga

or as it's known to people who like it - Yoga.

just who invented this stoopid shit anyway?

it was a complete waste of a good hours workout time.

the most stupid shit I've ever done at the gym was done on Friday.

Friday's workout class was yoga. The room was hot, and not cause it was hot yoga, but because the room they put us in which was next to the pool was humid and hot.
my two favourite things at the same time, heat and humidity.

you know what else I hate? soft voices. I imagine it's meant to be seductive and encouraging.
sounds more like an idiotic passivist trying to convince children to see things her way.
to say it grates on my nerves is putting it mildly.

I could not for the fucking life of me manage to get from the downward doggie to the sprinter position.
well that's what I called it.
my knee would not go that far forward. might have something to do with the belly that was in the way.

I got bored rather quickly. when she said the pointer guy pose was called the warrior pose I lost it.
I hummed the theme to Superman. entire class started laughing.
then I felt bad.
she is trying to teach a class and my antics are not helpful.
however, at the following pose of the warrior, the guy next to me started to sing the theme to Surfin USA.
well not the actual name of the song but fuck it you get the idea.
I did feel bad.

and you get a ten minute nap at the end of it. you can lie down on that matt you just sweated all over.
that matt that countless yugga buddies before you sweated on.
I did try it. I got about a minute into it and then I sat up and stretched.
yoga lady didn't say a word.

after class she wanted to know what I thought of it.
since I disrupted her class already I thought I should be a little nicer. nobody likes a bitch for no reason.
I simply told her that "I don't think yoga is my thing"
wanted to tell her what a serious waste of my time this was and that if I had spent the last 30 minutes in an air conditioned weight room doing something for my fitness that really mattered I would be in a happier place right now.

make way, wide load

it'll be fun she said.
it'll be easy she said.
she lied.
I didn't believe her from the start. I'm not delusional.

I don't know who's idea it was to make a bike with a seat 3 inches wide when my ass is 3 feet wide.
stupid inventors. stoopid stationary bicycle inventors.
that was one of my workout classes. there's three each week, one on mon, wed & fri.
if there's gonna be a test at the end I'll probably fail.

and the woman in charge? she's not even a bitch.
who do I hate in this scenario?
life. it's unfair.

today is monday so you'd think I'd have more energy after having rested up all weekend. on the sofa. with the cat. and the tv.
no.

I don't think it's monday's fault, no matter how much I'd like to blame the day of the week for my lazy streak.
sad news is I have an allergy to soy and not only does it make your hair fall out it messes with your thyroid.
I'm not sure yet if my inability to lose weight this year is to be blamed on a now broken thyroid or if I'm lazy or if it's the day of the week getting me.
hopefully it's the day of the week. mon wed and fri look pretty bleak to me these days.
whatever the problem is I wish it would fix itself up so I can get on with this.

I got work to do.